Pat Morita spins in his grave..

The remake of Karate Kid: why? I could simply end there, but I need to vent spleen. Karate kid was a great, great film, albeit featuring some rather cheesy martial arts. It's the only film I've seen which manages to do something different with martial training other than the straight-up montage: wax on-wax off at least conveys some of the sense of the sometimes labourious nature of training. Quite aside from this, Mr Miyagi is simply excellent: Jackie Chan might have the moves, but he doesn't have the charisma.  The moves, as far as one can tell from the trailer, will be the usual overly-acrobatic Wu Shu nonsense that has bored us for the last decade or so. I say why not do a sequel where Will Smith's sprog is sent to a Russian gulag to learn Systema from a crazed ex-Spetnatz officer, ending up with a penchant for vodka and black market Rolexes? That I would watch.